Welcome to The Urn, my repository of writings. Every story here is public, and most everything here is a short story/one-shot, although I do have a few novellas going through multiple entries. There are a few friends-only posts wherein I discuss current writing projects but there are no personal-life related things here. This journal is all and only about my writing and my writing career.

My stories on this journal are covered by the Creative Commons license, because I'm not a jerk, and anyway if you like it that much I'd rather you spread the love around as long as you give me the credit. (That does not mean you can sell it, though. Read about it.)

Thanks for dropping by! Please feel free to comment on stories, I value all feedback!

♥

Title: Default Promise
Word Count: 2,900
Rating: PG-13 (for adult themes)
Warnings: Bleak, angsty, character death
Summary: Some people are born survivors; some are not.

AUTHORIA: I guess this goes down as speculative apocalyptic fiction. It was drafted out before I read Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road” which I feel the need to point out as there are some similarities (I think) between the world building in my story and his. Totally synchronistic, and after I read his book I thought to try and change this story somehow but screw it, I like it well enough how it stands. I was hoping to make a more lyrical, emotionally complex story than this but cut-throat pragmatic story telling won out...as always. *sigh* I am no little-b.

(  Default Promise  )

Title: This is What People Do
Word Count: 1,700
Rating: PG-13 (for adult themes)
Summary: A day in the life.

AUTHORIA: This was a bit of something I started writing long-hand in my moleskine last Fall. It was meant as practice in present tense and as an exercise in character study and development. I took my own experiences and dragged them out and toyed with them to make 'something else'. As it stands, it is a fracture of a whole, like dropping in and spying on a person for a few hours with no begining to speak of and no set end. No plot at all. However it did bring up some interesting themes, so I'm considering expanding it into a genuine short story. Because, modern lit, you know...doesn't really require a plot. *grin*

( This is What People Do )

Under another user name, I 'unofficially' committed to NaNoWriMo, with pretty much disastrous results. For someone who has pumped out well over 200+k worth of fiction over the past year, that's pretty embarrassing. So I set my brain to work on WHY and this is what I found out. Copying from another journal with minor edits, mostly for my own ref.

One thing I learned a loooong time ago is that outlines and me don't mix well. It is a very volitile relationship, because if I outline a story thoroughly, then in my head, the story is 'done' and I don't need to write it, and I will not enjoy writing it if I try, and it will suck. Sometimes, though, an outline is unavoidable, if a story gets too convoluted or a time frame is very tight. Just as a point of reference, in my fanfic writing, I can think of only one time I resorted to use of an outline (that was "Shadowbox" in case you are wondering - it had a VERY tight time frame during the second half, and I kept losing track of who was where). That is a perfect example of when I DO use an outline: halfway through, with the plot pretty much already in place.*

Soooo, in 'preparing' for NaNoWriMo, I purposefully avoided doing an outline. Then I started to NOT WRITE anything. It's like I was waiting for clarity. Yes, thank you, I know I can get clarity by writing an outline. But I knew -- I just KNEW -- that was not the issue. An outline might hinder, and certainly was not going to help. I stalled. ME! STALLED! *is appalled at the crazy talk*

I wrestled with this development, and I could not figure it out, but I think I finally have, and I can thank fanfic for showing me the light.

For the last year plus, I've been writing almost exclusively fanfiction. I have written a few shorter original pieces, but nothing requiring committment. Prior to this, I was hardly writing, outside of journaliing; for nearly three years I had not worked at my craft. At all. Prior to that, my writing was sporadic and half-hearted at best. I was dispondant over my skills and, well, there was a lot of RL crap in there as well (much of which I am just now getting around to dealing with). So writing fanfic was a HUGE step for me, in that is got me back into the habit of writing every single fucking day which anyone who writes for a living will tell you is CRUCIAL.

One thing that fanfic does is make it EASY. I know this, I'm not copping out of it at all. It is easy to drop into a set universe with well defined characters and write. Obviously it is easy, just look at my output. Easy peasy. However I've learned a lot about my own writing methods, stuff I used to ignore before in favor of what 'experts' told me I should do (such as, outline...grrrr). I've learned I write better stories when I allow myself to write out of sequence; that I write faster and easier in the morning hours than in the evening, after work (which, alas, has had the not-so-good side effect of making me late for work regularly...ack!); that stalling out halfway through usually means the problem with the story is how it starts; etc. Important things to know, which have always been true, but I never acknowledged before, much less been able to use to my advantage.

BUT -- and this is a Very Important Discovery -- I realized that I can float merrily along the DIY style of plotting IF and ONLY IF the characters themselves are cast-iron clad. If the way the characters dress, act, behave, and think are clearly known and understood by me, I can put them ANYWHERE and make it work. If I know where they came from and how they got to be the person they are, I can even mess with that 'where they came from' part and put them back together right.

To the heart of the matter: Maeve O'Hara, my were-bear lead in "Ursula", is basically unknown to me. I know a few pertenant FACTS but I do not know HER and so the story stalled. As the book is supposed to be her coming of age story (from about five to 35 years old was my target range), it is all about her, so you could argue that I will get to know her as it goes. That won't work for me; first off, I generally write out of sequence. Secondly, if I don't KNOW her, I can't tell you how she will react at five years old to start with. When she is scared, is it fight or flight? What makes her happiest? Does she like cookies or ice cream?

Well you get the point.

Physically, I based her on Maureen O'Hara (hence the name...I am nothing if not subtle...*cough*). She's a red head, and she weighs about 140 pounds; emotionally, she's very insecure; plotwise, she is cursed (but not in the way she thinks). Now I've just got to find a way to figure out the rest of it.

NaNoWriMo might be a lost cause at this point, but I don't mind that. This was hardly a failure. I found out something very damn important, and that was worth the commitment I gave the project to begin with.

Title: Survivor
Word Count: 1,400
Rating: PG-13 (for adult themes)
Summary: A daughter waiting for the inevitable.

AUTHORIA: This is as damn near as autobiographical as I can go without it actually being true. Alas, a lot of this story is true, in one way or another. Not a happy place, but an interesting one, and in some ways it is like going home.

( Survivor )

Title: Elizabeth Graves
Word Count: 10,000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A touching story about a woman who meets her father, who is an Angel of Death, and gets recruited to join the family business.

AUTHORIA: I wrote this in 2000, I think. It has been ruthlessly re-written since, I hope for the best. It has turned into one of my favorite stories of all time; it is touching, sad, full and angst and grief, and yet still makes me smile. It is a sweet story, really, despite all the dead people. I wrote this before the TV series “Dead Like Me” appeared, but no one will believe that, so it is essentially worthless to try and sell without being accused of plagiarism. I think if you read the story, you will see it is nothing like the TV series, but try to convince the lawyers of that. Oh well. Please enjoy.

( Elizabeth Graves )

Title: Homeless (A Monologue with no Real Purpose)
Word Count: 1,00
Rating: R (for language)
Summary: A rant.

AUTHORIA: This was written for a theater student I met at FSU named Jenifer; she is brilliant and beautiful and has wonderful body language. I drafted out this monologue a long time ago, but until I met her, it never came together at all. Now, I think it stands as something. It's almost autobiographical but I think a bit more bitter and hopeless than I really am; me, as I could have been, or maybe was for a while.

( Homeless )

Title: Maji and the Glass Wall
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG
Summary: A strange little fairy tale, I think. Hell, I dunno. I just write them.

AUTHORIA: This is essentially the script for a small graphical I intend to draw someday. I think it will be better with visuals but it is a neat, creepy little story as it is. Enjoy.

( Maji and the Glass Wall  )

Guh. It's that 30k word mark. It kills me. I think I was born to write novellas, because kicking a story from 30k to 150k seems just beyond me. When I hit the 30k mark, I stall, even if the story is halfway done. Grrr. Not that I don't have complex story lines, or complex characters, but...I don't know. It's frustrating.

I do have one story that is at 60k and dread of all dread, it sucks. I wrote the majority of it nearly ten years ago, and you can really tell. Oh there are good parts in there, and it is a great story overall. I love it, in fact. It is called "Tane Koon and the Encyclopediaists of Mercy Jane" and is quite the epic, with a messianic plot core tied into revolution, betrayal, and barbarian hordes. Please, what's not to like? But I'm looking at it now as the most complex story I've done to date and it SUCKS. I'm re-writing it bottom up and the very idea sends me into a catatonic state of mad internet surfing.

Am I scared? Lazy? Incompetent? It's not like I haven't written about 200k words over the last three months on a series of short stories. I can write ten hours a day, I can crank out 5k a day, I can create intricate plots and great characters. So WTF is wrong with me? Frustration.

FYI I have four books sitting at the dreaded 30k mark. Sitting. Waiting. Plots stalled. Characters in limbo. And here I sit posting crap. Bah.

Title: The Taking of Toko
Word Count: 3,000
Rating: PG
Summary: An SF story about a potto. Yes, really.

AUTHORIA: I wrote this about three years ago, for no reason I can remember other than pottos are really, really cute. Anyway this one is sentient and smart and clever too! I’ve submitted this to magazines and contests and it is always, sadly, ignored. Toko deserves better. I hope you like him as much as I do.


(  The Taking of Toko )

Title: Mistakes
Word Count: 3,000
Rating: NC-17 (erotica-het)
Summary: A romance gone wrong, for all the wrong reasons, but somehow there is hope.

AUTHORIA: Another romantic smut vignette. I thought of the ending first, and wrote that as just a bit of nothing, and then found myself at the beginning and sorting it all out. So anyway, it came together well enough, so enjoy!

( Mistakes )

Title: Troy, an essay
Word Count: 800
Rating: PG
Summary: Personal mythology.

AUTHORIA: This is an essay I originally wrote in 1998. It has morphed a lot over ten years and I’m not sure that means it is better, but it is still reflective of one of the overriding truths of my life, and still is amazingly clear on how I feel. This is truth, this is me, and it is not happy but damn it is honest.

( Troy )

Title: Skellar('cause I suck at titles)
Word Count: 590
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A violent story about a faithful daughter, a robot, and the hell that is business as usual.

AUTHORIA: Another little SF flash fic. That's all.

( Skellar )

Title: Sisters
Word Count: 4,000
Rating: PG
Summary: Two roommates, two sisters, a secret, a handsome almost-stranger and a hint of romance.

AUTHORIA: I wrote this about two years ago as an entry in some kind of romance anthology series or what all, hell I don't even remember. Anyway I think the 'romantic' end of it was too thin to take the story anywhere, but I really liked the dialogue and interactions I got to with the two main characters, the roommates. First person, but it came out alright.

( Sisters )

Title: Tandoo ('cause I suck at titles)
Word Count: 580
Rating: PG
Summary: A boy named Tandoo, a mysterious key, and no escaping fate.

AUTHORIA: A little SF flash fic; I did a series of these for practice in writing tighter scenes...I do tend to ramble, when unchecked...and I guess I'll be posting them here.

( Tandoo )

Title: Lessons (Link in the Chain) - Part Three of Three
Word Count: 18,000 (in three parts; part three, 5,900)
Rating: R
Summary: A paranormal piece about a woman trapped by fate, an overbearing ancestor, several ghosts, two cute guys (one dead) and a bad guy or two. And dogs.

Background:
Part One
Part Two

( Lessons, Part Three )

Title: Lessons (Link in the Chain) - Part Two of Three
Word Count: 18,000 (in three parts; part two, 7000)
Rating: R
Summary: A paranormal piece about a woman trapped by fate, an overbearing ancestor, several ghosts, two cute guys (one dead) and a bad guy or two. And dogs.

Background:
Part One

( Lessons, Part Two )

Title: Lessons (Link in the Chain) - Part One of Three
Word Count: 18,000 (in three parts; part one, 5,200)
Rating: R
Summary: A paranormal piece about a woman trapped by fate, an overbearing ancestor, several ghosts, two cute guys (one dead) and a villian or two. And dogs.

AUTHORIA: This is part of an entire universe I created called the Link in the Chain, with 300+ years of back story and a veritable cast of thousands. This particular story was designed as the set up piece for a novel I want to write, and wayyy back when, I hoped to sell it to generate interest in the book idea. But it is too long to sell as a short story, and too short to be a book, and novellas are out of fashion, and I’m a nobody so no one wants to serialize my wee little paranormal tale. I pulled it out of storage, dusted it up, and here it is. I do not write first person much so it is hard for me to judge quality, but eh, I love the characters and the back story so I love this. Enjoy!

( Lessons )

Title: Behind Wooden Doors
Word Count: 4,500
Rating: NC-17+ (erotica)
Summary: A romancy bit of smut about a guy with a crush, a girl, and a storage supply closet.

AUTHORIA: No idea where this came from. It’s a bit romancy with some nice old-fashioned sex going on and I like the characters, but you could not say it has a plot. It was inspired by my current job surroundings at a ‘manufacturing facility’ (factory) and the idea of putting the ‘romance’ from a male perspective.

( Behind Wooden Doors )

Title: Family, Part Two of Two
Word Count: 10,000 (in two parts; part two, 4,400)
Rating: PG-13 (for a wee bit of violence & cussing)
Summary: SF story about a brother and a sister trying to lead a rebellious group of mining staff off a failing moon station...and possibly, sabotage.

( Family, Part Two )